Trav
I couldn't sleep tonight so I decided that I would do some HW so that I would have less tomorrow. The lesson that I did was on forgiveness and sacrifice. It really hit me tonight. I realized a lot of things. I just wanted to write to you and thank you for what you are doing now. I know the sacrifices you are doing working in ALT. I can't tell you how thankful I am for you. I think you are really the most amazing person I know. The fact that you would move to a new city far away from home and work for the summer by yourself so that we can have a future means more then I can even write. I really started to tear thinking about you and everything you are doing for me. I wish I could do something in return. I sit here and ache for you and I can't imagine how it is for you there. I know that you are the one I am supposed to marry and that it is the right time. I remember the first time I met you I didn't know what it was about you but everything felt different. Then when I went to your concert I couldn't stop watching you. I even started to smile for no reason when you were singing. I was scared to come talk to you cause I didn't know what you thought of me. When you came back to me I wanted to get to know you more. When we went to your house I have never been so relaxed with someone. I was able to be myself and not even worry about anyone. I don't know what it was about you but I wanted to get to know you more. As we sat talking while everyone was watching a movie of course I fell in love with your voice but also I started to fall in love with your spirit. There was something about you that I wanted to know more about. The way you would pay attention to everything I would say and how opened you were to everything I would say. I didn't feel like you were acting and that everything you said was just perfect to me. I remember that weird guy walking in and asking you questions and you trying to be nice but at the same time trying to get him to leave. It was so cute how nice you were to him even tho you didn't want anything to do with him. I watched how you would smile at me or give me a look like " what the heck" while he talked. I would giggle but not loud enough for you to hear. I was scared for you to hear my laugh cause I know it is different. As we talked and got to know each other I realized that you were not just another hook up. You were something more and I wanted to see. We went back downstairs as they were finishing a movie. We cuddled and I remember kissing you but nothing in my mind was telling me to. I really still to think day don't know where that came from. After I did that In my head I knew you were going to peace out. After you kinda laughed it made me feel better. I remember falling asleep as if we were one. There was a time I woke up and could not breath because I was stuck in between the love sac and your face. I didn't want to wake you so I tried to move my lips so that I could find a peep of air. After a choice dream that I will not be writing about I remember you trying to wake me up sweetly. I didn't want to move and was so tired. The next thing I remember is waking up to you throwing me over your shoulders. I was so mad you had done this cause all I thought is were over. I am going to be so heavy to carry and he is going to never want to see me again. That night I went home and had a dream about me marrying you. I couldn't admit this till now since we are engaged. But you were the boy that I walked out of the temple with. OH and NO I did not dream about our wedding night while we were at your house! Anyways I woke up and Lauren and her cousin told me what I had dreamed about and done. I was so embarrassed and knew that we were donezo.. I decided I should call myself and maybe explain what had happened and that I was sleeping and didn't remember anything. You didn't answer and I remember telling them okay he does not even want to talk to me. Then you called I didn't know if I should pick up. I decided to and you talked as if nothing had happened. I felt better and went on with the convo. After you laughing a bit and me trying to not make it sound as bad as it was we decided to do something soon. Okay my fingers hurt today I have typed at least 3 novels. Anyways I just thought I would tell you about the first time we really got to know each other and give you the view from my side. I love you and there's more of this story tomorrow night. I love you so much and hope you have a great day!!!
ohh Ps: I forgot to write about how the whole time I was with you I thought you were the most handsome boy ever. I put you above the real slim shady and you know that it's saying a lot. Now I don't think Marshal Mathers can do to me what you do =)
So you are sleeping and I wish I was but I slept all day and so I am not tired tonight. I just wanted to write to you again so that you can wake up to something cute. I was thinking tonight about the time we were on Old Main Hill. I think this was our first real date jsut the two of us. I remember I was so scared cause I didn't know what to wear. I looked through everything and tried to pick out something that was not too much but still looked cute. When you knocked on the door my whole body got the chills. I gave you a hug and we got into your car. We went to dinner and listened to your friend play the guitar. It was really cute just being there with you and trying not to eat since I get embarrassed when people see me eat. You were so cute talking and telling me about you. After we left I didn't want the night to end but didn't know what you wanted. We decided to go to the institute dance and see what was happening. I remember the look on your face when we saw everybody there. I was like umm okay this could be interesting. We danced with random ppl and let lose. I remember I was laughing so hard at you and then "Im already there" by lone star came on. I had really always loved that song so when It played I got the chills again. We danced cute then we danced crazy while everyone was trying to get to know the person they were dancing with. You commented and said wow I'm glad I don't have to do that tonight. After we left you decided to give me a tour of campus. Well it didn't go long cause we ended up at old main. I remember I wanted you to take off your shoes and dance with me but you didn't want to at first. Then you decided that you would and it made the night fun rolling around and being weirdos. After a bit we laid there looking at the stars and talking. I remember I told you everything and even cried a little. I had never opened up to someone like I have you. I told you about my dad and how much of an effect it had on me. I was so scared you were going to judge me and that it was the end of us. After you told me that you understood and held me while I cried I realized that there was more to you then just another boy. We talked for awhile and told each other some deep things. That night was really one that I will never forget. I had a feeling that after that night my boy life was done with. I didn't want to think that but I knew that it was changing. The way you listened and held me when I was crying really changed me. I can't tell you how many times I think about that night. I shared with you somethings that I have never told anyone. We talked for awhile and realized what time it was. After that we decided that we would walk back to your house. I remember holding hands and thinking my hands fit perfectly in between your. I think they knew that they better get used to them cause those are the old hands besides Coltys that I have held. Trav you are really the best thing that has ever been mine. I pray every night for you and thank the lord for bringing me to you. I think that you came into my life when I needed you most. I think about where I was and what I was going through and you have changed me so much. I just want you to know how much I love you and how thankful I am you are a worthy priesthood holder. I have always made sure my children and me will have someone with the priesthood in our home. I know that you are the one I am supposed to marry and on August 12 I will be sealed to the love of my life.
I love you!!!!!!
